Where have I been?

Okay - so I'm trying to clean out some clutter in my house. Not very effective, I feel like I'm spending more time on the computer and maintenance cleaning than making a dent in anything. Plus my professional uncleaners will be home soon to do their life's ambition...So I'm not going to be long today, just a quick Howie-ism....

Me: Howie, I told you to STOP playing with the Christmas Ornaments!
Howie: Well, they're MINE!
Me: *I* bought them, they're mine, I just put your name on them, and they're not toys, so stop playing with them
Howie: Well, you're not the boss of me
Me: Yes, I am, I'm your mom that makes me the boss.
Howie: No you're not because you have a mom and she's in charge
Me: ....MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!! HOWIE'S BEING MEAN TO ME!!!
The tree is collossal.

King for the Day may be over-indulged?

SOOO Howie's birthday was yesterday "King for the day" - he woke me up at 6:30 and asks me if he can have a bowl of ice cream. I said no, cause frankly, the only ice cream we have is MY SPECIAL "kids can't possibly appreciate THIS ice cream" ice cream. Then he reminded me that it was his birthday. SO I had to say YES - but I didn't give him a big bowl.

Then after the other kids got off to school, I told him he was the boss & asked him what he wanted to do today. He made me clean his room up. Then he wanted a candy bar. Then we had to go to the dentist (not his choice) they found a cavity (I'm not going to fill it cause - well, the baby tooth'll be gone in a matter of months anyway). After the dentist, he wanted an ice cream sundae. We went to McDonalds. It was about lunch time so I asked if he wanted to have lunch w/ his dad. YUP. So we went to Ross' work and he took us to lunch at the Macaroni Grill. Howie ordered a Pizza, didn't touch it, but then afterwords the ice cream sundae came & he sucked that down - and since he managed to tell the waiter that it was his birthday, too, the waiter came over, sang "happy birthday" in Italian and gave him a slice of cake w/ fudge on it & a candle. Howie ate it.

Then we had to go to walmart to set up his birthday - (his words) we got all sorts of party favors, (which I'm going to return since he's forgotten about them) and I snuck in a few birthday presents. On the way out, he asked for a slurpie. Yup, got him one. Then we came home, he played w/ the kids for a little while, and Ross came home from work. On their birthday's they get to pick the dinner for everyone. - ONE GUESS as to what Howie wanted for dinner. Yup, my ice cream. I couldn't do it. I just couldn't do it. So we went to talked him into a burrito...went to Taco Bell & got the goods, brought it home, the kids ate, and we snuck back out to "preview" Harry Potter (any pg13, we have to watch before we decide if the kids can see, and since we told Rossi that if he read the book, he could see the flick, that was before we knew it was 13...anyway, we had to preview it) We got home at 12:40a.m. Rossi was the only one awake. (Kali had fallen asleep before we got back w/ the taco bell, so we didn't have his cake, cause we didn't want to do the "party" without her, but we did open presents) anyway - I went in to check on all my little angels, Kiersten & Kali were sleeping like two pretzels - arm over leg over face over hand over foot, and I went in to see Howie...Walked into a room that absolutely REEKED of vomit. He apparently fell asleep & puked in his sleep. Cause never once even since he was an infant when he's thrown up has he ever gone anywhere but in a puke bucket or the toilet - he will hold it in....anyway - PUKE everywhere. and he was SLEEPING IN IT. We of course had to yank him out to put him in the bath, strip the sheets, wash his hair, etc....his hand was PRUNY from sitting in puke. HOW FRIKKIN GROSS IS THAT?!! Anyway - he got all cleaned up & went back to bed. Apparently all that junk he ate today didn't want to hang out in his little guts. Anyway - we went to bed at 2:30a.m.

Random thoughts

I've been sick the last few days - bed ridden, ill...yucky.

YES. I feel lots and lots better, although I did just climb out of bed again for the day - (which was the case yesterday at 5:45p.m.) apparently it's just what I needed. I still have the sweats - but I never got the pukes or the trots....so I guess I can't complain - My head's still spinning and I can feel crap in my lungs. I wonder, don't you, about the flu....does it ever realy leave your body - you know like mono - you get it and it sort of goes into hybernation. Is the flu like that - I mean - where did it start? Did Adam give it to Eve? and then after that, did Noah bring it onto the ark? Did Ham give it to his mom? I don't get it...did you ever think about that? And if everyone who doesn't have it were sent to a tropical island where it didn't exist, when everyone on the earth was finished having it and had since been sent to the tropical island, could we all go back home & never get it again? Seems like a quite simple solution, don't ya think? Didja ever think a that? well, didja didja? Well, now you can.

And know what else has been crossing my mostly empty head the past few days....why are sterriods such a big deal w/ baseball players, it doesn't make them better, it's all hand/eye coordination - I mean - honestly, do they check golf players for sterriods? Is Tiger Woods on sterroids? and how in the world would that help him? And did you notice that the words "world" and "would" there is only one letter difference. And is there a word when you keep saying a word over and over and over and over and over and over again until that word doesn't sound like a real word again, or if you type it over and over and over and over and over again, until it doesn't look like a real word, like the word "over" see where I'm going....right, absolutely no where.

Yes, I am back. and I have to clean the bathroom, it smells like pee, because Howie is aim-impaired. I also have to do the dishes, apparently no one knows how to do dishes in the house - 'cept me and there are no dishes, they've been using paper, which reminds me, I have to take the garbage out, too....

Okay - honestly (isn't that silent "h" interesting, you don't really need it, but we use it, cause well, "h" just isn't used enough, but when it is used, it's usually silent, like in "ghost" or "knife" - wait, that's a K - that's not so silent, neither is Brynn, off I goto feed her. - goto should be one word, like onto or into or unto or duku, wait, that's star wars...) oh - back to my "honestly" comment (I know how you get when I don't finish a thought) Ross was a huge help when I was ill-ridden - he took yesterday and today off work while I lay lifeless in bed - he only brought Brynn to me when she wanted a sucker and made the kids stay quiet, not only that - I think I may fake sick the rest of the week, for the benefit of the kids - cause they're really being big helps, well, they're not really doing the dishes (evident) but they're doing homework and not fighting - which dang, warm fuzzies, huh?!

Okay - I'm off - before I go onto another tangent.

There was an old woman who lived in a shoe....

she had so many kids she didn't know what to do.


The kids had become expert un-cleaners and fully expected that one day they would be able to make money from their core talent.


Mother worked hard to tear down their very natures and break their spirits, but she had not prevailed and was at her wits end.

Sure, she liked to clean up after them just as much as the next person, but she also enjoyed clubbing herself silly. (oh, and...not one word of that sentence speaks truth, as IF!)

One day, Mother was doing laundry when she saw that the uncleaners, at their attempt of dispelling any bad media before it got to the father-in-the-shoe, had cleaned the wrong items. It appeared as though the very items she had watched in the washing machine the day before AND subsiquently folded were in there again. Was she having deja vu? NO.

SO she re-watched those items that she pulled out of the perpetually full laundry hamper go round & round, folded them again, then snuck them in a carefully hidden empty stroller box (refer to the short post dated November 2nd)

After 3 days of laundry, the children started noticing how clean their rooms were getting and strangely two of them had the audacity to credit themselves for doing it.

This morning the professional un-cleaners called upon Mother-in-the-shoe to let them know that she needed to buy them more underware. Mother in the shoe got up, went in their room and proceeded to order them different items of interest to pick up (maybe the underware was hidden in a pile?) (this was a fairly un-rushed thing since the professional un-cleaners are also professional un-sleepers and were up at 5 in the morning looking for underware....now I know this is a slight tangent from the story, however, it should be noted that it is highly unusual for anyone to wake up at 5 in the morning and suddenly note that their group of size 16 underware surplus has diminished to ONE size 10 ripped, grey and slightly streak-stained if-ya-know-what-I-mean. Is that what YOU think of at 5 a.m.?)

Mother-in-the-shoe had already anticipated the un-cleaner's noted loss of properly sized tighty whitey's and carefully placed the older grey and slightly streak-stained ones in their place. In the rush of ordering the master un-cleaner around, the little minnion un-cleaners were brought out of their caves of wonder to come to the rescue of the now slightly higher-pitched voice of the master un-cleaner. A minnion un-cleaner noticed that she had no clean socks, another minnion uncleaner noticed there was no shoes. Luckily, Mother-in-the-shoe had already planned a way in which these youngsters could revive their dead articles of clothing by adding other chores, and thus started the morning of the sweat-shop-in-the-shoe.

Un-cleaners went to school...and mother-in-the-shoe went back to bed with a clean, quiet shoe.

Insomnia?

I got up this morning at 3 (to give Brynn a sucker) - and couldnt go back to sleep, too many things I wanted to get done & kept telling myself, "if you're not tired, get up & mop the floor" but then I argued back "If you get up and mop the floor, then you won't be able to fall back to sleep" in cross examination, I thought "Idiot, you can't fall asleep, so what are you complaining about not mopping cause you won't fall back to sleep?" and then I said "Can't we both just get along?" so there I tossed around in bed fighting with myself until 6:00 when Kali came in from a nightmare & wanted to sleep with me, so I let her lay down until I kicked her out of bed at 6:45 cause she was an egg beater & I couldn't sleep w/ her in there, so after she got out of bed, I fell back to sleep and woke up at 7:15 when Kiersten came in to tell me the sam-mich bags were gone - which is bizzaar cause it was full yesterday - so I went storming about the castle asking who took them - come to find out - Kali & Howie decided to make water balloons out of the ziplock sandwich bags & they popped them all in the bathtub. So we had to wrap the sam-miches up with tin foil. Then I made the kids brush their teeth...I know, cruel beeeotch. Not only that, I made Rossi pick up his jamma's off the floor of the bathroom - man, I'm a slave driver...and now I can't go back to sleep - I'm tired, I tried to lay back down, and there's just too much to do today, I have to make the dinners (I'm doing chicken divan - I should make flavorless spaghetti & cottage cheese with too little red sauce in it, but I'm bigger than that) but the cool thing is I get to use my new ricer. YAY!

A new ricer? What? Did Heidi get herself a kitchen treat? YES SHE DID, why? What happened to your ricer? Nothing, it works fine, I got it fer a weddin' gift but it only makes 3 cups, and my kids eat more than that, not only that, if I'm cooking for everyone in the city, then I need more than 3 cups. Yep, while I was on my spending spree, I also bought a 4 slice toaster....Why? what happened to the black&decker you got for your wedding? Nothing, but it only cooks 2 slices at a time and, well, I have 5 kids...4 of them have teeth & actually eat toast fresh from the toaster. So now I have a toaster, a ricer & a toaster & a ricer. SO should I sell the fine "smaller" ones on e-bay or should I just give them away? I'll give it to the DI. I hate giving things away to "no one" I mean, I can't, I should just keep them until my kids get married, then they can have sentimental value for their kids - is a toaster an heirloom?

Another blah blah blog

Something's the matter w/ this blog right now, I have tried to type this several times and it keeps hanging up on me. I'm going to try again, but who knows I'll finish writing all my feelings and thoughts and it won't publish OR it will and then I'll have a bunch of stuff in there that I didn't want to say, but when I try to delete it, it will hang up & be stuck on nosey-siber space forever. So I have to say, in good conscience that Halloween candy is not good for my butt. I need a major colon cleansing. And I am GASSY - talk about hot air! I think it's the chocolate. Anyway - I'm actually getting used to the smell. It's not as bad - poor Ross thinks something's wrong with the dog, I haven't the heart to tell him otherwise. I have to keep the dutch oven from him, if you know what I'm talkin' bout.

And for some crazy reason I want to know what's wrong w/ Brynn. I'm sure it's an altitude problem, but it could be the chocolate?

Ross is hating the corporate life, and he's really excited about starting up a new business. We were thinking of moving it to Idaho, but we like it here so much, and we have several friends w/ their own businesses, he's going to pick their brains to see what kinds of services small businesses could use and benefit from a money control freak. Hopefully that'll pan out. He's really not happy with his boss or his commute.

Well, I have to go make a grumpy...I'm tellin' ya, it's working over time.

Why are the kids so different?

So, last night Ross & I were sitting by the pool side reliving the day and discussing options for our future happiness. Howie & Ross came out- who knows why, they were supposed to be in bed, but Rossi was wanting to relive his rose pedal discovery, we were looking in the pool and a butterfly landed on the water and obviously got stuck. Flopped his wings around and was ready to die, when Howie asked that we fish it out....so we did - we put it on the patio table and Howie wanted to put him in a pickle jar. Of course, we explained that his family was missing him and he needed to go home. We went inside and the butterfly flew off.

This morning we looked out the window and the butterfly was on the screen. I told Howie that the butterfly came back to tell him "hi" and thank him for getting him out of the pool. SO Howie came running over waving hello to the butterfly with his hand. He wanted to know if the butterfly could smell his popcorn (just freshly made) - (which, I must mention, he said I was "wasting" on the previews of Alice in Wonderland - I should have waited until the movie actually started before diving in.) And I went on to explain to him that no, butterflies don't really have noses, they have more like a straw called a "probascus" and he said "Straw? Man, I need a juice box."

You know when Rossi was 4 he was teaching ME about the bees & the butterflies & their probascus' Howie has NO interest. Just give him his popcorn & a movie & he'll be good.

My tricks will return bite me one of these days....

I'm well aware of it, hopefully by the time the kids realize they can"get me back" I'll be too old & fragile.

Meanwhile, a large rock fell into the bottom of the pool, the net was unable to pull it out. Kiersten put her swim suit on, she was willing to rough the 70 degree water (I know tears & chills from the Idaho group - but here, that thar's cold) all for the good of keeping the pool clean. Well, while she was getting her suit on, I pulled a smooth move & with one sweep, the net popped the rock up & caught it - so thankyouverymuch. (So my brave daughter didn't have to dive into the icy cold water).

I sat down out there & decided to check on the vacuum, it swalla'd a rock. Right about then, Rossi came over & bent over - put his hind-end right in my face as he was looking into the deep end trying to figure out what "that white thing" was...I told him to take a closer look & gently patted his hind end with my foot. He got a closer look.

It was a white rose pedal. (insert "snidley the dog" laugh here - kee kee kee kee keee)

Brynn's poopy

I don't just say that because it doesn't happen very often, it's just what's on my mind at this juncture. I woke up at 4:40 this morning and couldn't go back to sleep - and for whatever reason I feel more able to sleep when all the kids are at home bouncing off the walls instead of when they're laying soundly in their own beds is BEYOND me, but alas, I feel like a nap is iminent.

So Butch e-mailed this morning, wants Aaron's phone number...so without hesitation I sent it back to him, he checked back w/ me to make sure that was the right number, I double checked - it was - but I sent him 2 other numbers just in case, wow, something must be pressing for dad to make sure that he got the information right...Well, as I'm checking Howie out of school, I realized that it's Aaron's birthday, Guess I finally caught on, eh?

THEN - I'm so excited, I feel like THIS is *IT* Dad just agreed to let Steve conduct his oratorio here in Phoenix. I think the place is right, I think the timing is right, I KNOW the music is right, I think this may be the "big start" we've expected and we've been waiting for. Steve is beyond excited. At first - just at the split second I told him we'd like him to do it - I thought he was excited because he got a job...but seconds after he did his "yippee" squeal, he mentioned that he was on a huge spiritual high. I'm so excited about this, I can't even express it! Hopefully we can get a "big name" singer to sing the tenor solos!

Anyway - Brynn needs my suckers and THEN I'm going to take a nap.

I really need to get rid of EVERYTHING

Dang - I can't believe how much "stuff" we have - I was thinking I should get some moving boxes & stuff them full of things that we don't use EVER. I don't know why we keep old USED clothes that don't fit the kids any more. There's no reason for it. I've got a big empty stroller box sitting in my room. What am I going to do with it? use it as an end table? I think not. I'm moving my scrap book stuff into the front bedroom. Yep, the clutter's getting to me. Better get moving while Brynn's not crying.