Monday, August 28, 2006
A scripture reading funny....
We were reading last night where the brother of Jared & his family brought deseret....we asked the kids what they thought it was - and Rossi sat for a while & then said "I know - it's a female desert." Well, needless to say - I expanded on his thought & said they had more dunes than your typical male desert - and well, we all had to sit quietly while Ross read the rest of the chapter - because we were all busting up.
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
The Clean up clause....
There's a life contract that everyone has in every association with everyone. The contract varies by age & titled (child, parent, employee, guest, relative, and so on) For example, in the contract for being a kid, there is a clean up clause. An entire section devoted to how to pick up after yourselves. In that contract, it clearly states that you are NOT to pick up after yourself. It goes on to state that if you don't pick up after yourself and a parental figure (or responsible supervisory person) requires this of you, you may, at your own option do one or several of the following:
a) pick up as requested,
b) vocalize your concern that said mess is not your responsibility (be creative with your wording, vary it from sentence to sentence, keeping adult in anticipatory suspense)
c) lay down and cry (it is expected that you steal an occasional glimpse at said adult to verify they maintain interest in your entertainment tactics)
d) claim ignorance "I don't know how"
e) express concern of being overwhelmed at this being "so much for someone my age" by stating "I need help" perhaps even pretend like you're going to be the obedient child, pick up the first item you see and then put it in the wrong place and lay it down incorrectly (for example, pick up your pants from the floor, then place them carefully and lovingly - but NOT neatly between the wall and your bed and tell the adult that this is where you like to keep your clothes so they don't get lost)
Of course, the adult has a contract as well. Given the same situation stated above you have your choice of reactions to each of the items described above. They are
a) (when a child does as asked) give praise
b) (when child utilizes the "not my responsibility" clause) let child know that said mess will not be picked up by you, but if it is, you'll be very dissapointed, then give child praise for not crying;
c) (when child exercies right to physically and vocally pitch a fit in "a-minor") quick take mess and throw it on top of child, so when they get up from their fit, technically, they are picking up their mess.
d) (when a child claims to not know how to bend over & pick things up) pull out the "old garbage bag" technique - grab a bag and threaten to show them how YOU like to pick up their mess and see if they want to demonstrate how they would like them picked up.
e) (when things are put away improperly) give child praise, send them out to play with other toys & make other messes - while you sneak in & pull towel out from bewteen bed & wall, you will undoubtedly uncover the flip flops, library book, last night's dinner, lost shoe, dirty underware, and YOUR bra...then you must pick up flip flops, libary book call the dog to help exhume last night's dinner, find mate for lost shoe, throw dirty underware in hamper & examine bra for wearability, then after re-cleaning the mess, find current location of child and repeat aforementioned "clean up request" clause for the newest, latest & greated mess...
a) pick up as requested,
b) vocalize your concern that said mess is not your responsibility (be creative with your wording, vary it from sentence to sentence, keeping adult in anticipatory suspense)
c) lay down and cry (it is expected that you steal an occasional glimpse at said adult to verify they maintain interest in your entertainment tactics)
d) claim ignorance "I don't know how"
e) express concern of being overwhelmed at this being "so much for someone my age" by stating "I need help" perhaps even pretend like you're going to be the obedient child, pick up the first item you see and then put it in the wrong place and lay it down incorrectly (for example, pick up your pants from the floor, then place them carefully and lovingly - but NOT neatly between the wall and your bed and tell the adult that this is where you like to keep your clothes so they don't get lost)
Of course, the adult has a contract as well. Given the same situation stated above you have your choice of reactions to each of the items described above. They are
a) (when a child does as asked) give praise
b) (when child utilizes the "not my responsibility" clause) let child know that said mess will not be picked up by you, but if it is, you'll be very dissapointed, then give child praise for not crying;
c) (when child exercies right to physically and vocally pitch a fit in "a-minor") quick take mess and throw it on top of child, so when they get up from their fit, technically, they are picking up their mess.
d) (when a child claims to not know how to bend over & pick things up) pull out the "old garbage bag" technique - grab a bag and threaten to show them how YOU like to pick up their mess and see if they want to demonstrate how they would like them picked up.
e) (when things are put away improperly) give child praise, send them out to play with other toys & make other messes - while you sneak in & pull towel out from bewteen bed & wall, you will undoubtedly uncover the flip flops, library book, last night's dinner, lost shoe, dirty underware, and YOUR bra...then you must pick up flip flops, libary book call the dog to help exhume last night's dinner, find mate for lost shoe, throw dirty underware in hamper & examine bra for wearability, then after re-cleaning the mess, find current location of child and repeat aforementioned "clean up request" clause for the newest, latest & greated mess...
Saturday, August 19, 2006
Friday, August 18, 2006
ONE year ago today....
I sat strapped to monitors in the hospital - they told me my contractions were 1-2 minutes apart, but I didn't feel anything, I was dialated to a 4 and they said I was a keeper.Crysty & Ross were there, tried to play texas hold'em, but I didn't catch on too quickly - so I napped while they played. They snuck me food even though the mean nurse said I couldn't eat.
I warned her several times I go from 7-10 in nothing flat - after a few hours, she checked me, said my bag was bulging and gush - there went my water, she said I was a 7...I said call the doctor. She didn't.... but they did switch nurses.
Nurse 1 told nurse 2 that I said I'd go quick, so Nurse 2 pulled out the doctor's cart...
I said "she's here."
She said "I know, dear, you're having a baby"
I said "I have to go to the bathroom"
she said "uh, no you don't...that's the baby's head" and then she pushed a button "I need all available nurses and page the doctor" and then she said "don't push"
Well, push or not, she was coming out!!! Ross ran around looking for gloves (uh??) and this is what the doctor saw when he walked in....
And here it is a year later...seems like just yesterday she was keeping me up all night...hmm, wait, it was just yesterday...
Sunday, August 13, 2006
The nursing has ended
Should I be sad? I don't know - I wanted to stop nursing so I could lose weight. It's been 3 days - haven't lost an ounce. Brynn sometimes breaks my heart cause sometimes when she gets real tired, she'll ask to nurse (she smaks her lips together, it's pert-near the cutest durn thing you'll ever witness).
So I need another child to entertain her. It's like in Princess Bride where Andre the Giant is fighting Wesley - he can't do it he says "it's been so long since I fought just one man, I almost forgot how to do it" he goes on to explain that you use different techniques for fighting off 20-30 men than you do with just one. Well, the same goes with children. You fight off one much differently than you fight off 5.
Meanwhile, do I let her continue to dig my grave? Or do I live long enough so she has to change my diapers? It's really a toss up.
So I need another child to entertain her. It's like in Princess Bride where Andre the Giant is fighting Wesley - he can't do it he says "it's been so long since I fought just one man, I almost forgot how to do it" he goes on to explain that you use different techniques for fighting off 20-30 men than you do with just one. Well, the same goes with children. You fight off one much differently than you fight off 5.
Meanwhile, do I let her continue to dig my grave? Or do I live long enough so she has to change my diapers? It's really a toss up.
Thursday, August 10, 2006
Dust is dominant
Right now it's humid, but apparently moisture in the air has no domination over particals. I dust probably twice a week. Wait, that's not me...I need to dust twice a week, but I don't. What I do, however think about how I need to dust at least twice a week. Last week I actually pulled out the yella can & rag and did a good once-over. I meant to continue my once-over into my room, however, I didn't, instead I put the yella can down on my dresser top. Today I found that yella can atop my dresser just as I started chipping away in my room at pile number 4.3(b) (this is the pile located against the east wall in my closet - more on that another day). Funny thing is when I picked it up, there was a less dusty area under the can - so I moved the can - I'm going to start up an experiment - I'll take pictures. I'll remember - ya right.
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