The Puncture Wound

Big bang. She slipped while climbing on the basket in the corner. Her head came crashing down uncontrollably and she let out a blood curling cry.

I picked her up immediately, cradled her in my arms as she continued to cry. I know head wounds bleed an awful lot, as I watched the blood pool in the concave area of her forehead. The kids came running over, concerned about her. So she sat up as she was crying. Of course, the pooled blood fell down her face out of the "blood bowl" and that freaked the kids out, which in turn freaked me out - because now I could see what the pool of blood was covering up. She had punctured her head. I had no idea what she hit at first, dh went back to where she fell and came up with a wicker stick! I was sorely afraid she was holding onto it and stabbed herself with it? I didn't know. And the crevace in her head was sort of freaky. I mean - I can handle a split forehead, but I don't think I'd participated in a child's puncture wound to the head as of that day.

I wanted to take her to the hospital, but then I figured, what are they going to do? We gave her a popcycle. I don't know why those help? But apparently they do.

The next morning, she was fine, what a good girl, even as I changed her bandaid & put new ointment on it - she held very still & didn't play with the band-aid! Look at that HOLE!!

My first stripper

Four previous children, all managed to keep their clothes on. Brynn, I have to follow around like a hawk!

She is pre-two.

Too much work for you.

She likes bare bums.

Swinging her arms as she hums.

She will not wear socks.

As she empties the wipie box.

She will not wear pants.

Should be locked on with clamps.

She will not wear a diaper.

Which is bad if she needs a wiper.

What can you do with that pinchable bum?

Just run up and get me some.

I'm So McTicked!!!

We don't frequent McArtery Clogger much - but tonight - well the kids were begging and I thought -what the heck - I don't really McCare...so I got the McHowie & McKali a few McMeals - and OH MY McGOSH - one of the toys in there is this ugly cat that has one elbow out and the other hand is under the armpit & every time you pull the McElbow down, the cat thingy makes a McFART sound!

Okay - so it's funny, but not acceptable for a 6 & 7 year old child AT THE DINNER TABLE!!!

Roller blading

I'm sure my donkey got the workout of her life today. I went roller blading and my donkey was BURNING! I went about 1/4 the distance I normally run - took about the same amount of time (including the 3 minute sit down & look for my breath break) burned the same number of calories! WOW!

I'm sure a neighbor could have recorded me for AFV and he'd win the money, if only he knew my name!

Watch out flabby donkey, I'm bringin' in the stallion! Oh gyal, tuck in yoh donkay! At's rat.

Worn out

I guess I'm tired. It's a lot of work home schooling, but I feel like it's rewarding. I love the look Ross gives when it clicks! I enjoy remembering math! I love to refresh my memory with history and other things as we go through his lesson plans! Rossi loves being home schooled. Dh hasn't asked about how it's going, but he asked Rossi tonight who told him he day-dreams more at home than he does at school. I can understand that, but he also does twice as much here as he does at school. He doesn't have to wait for another classmate to "get it" before he moves on to the next subject. He goes at his own pace & he tells me that he enjoys it.

But when Dh tells me that...I don't know - I wonder if he understands what we do here. He hasn't asked how it's going. I can't get any housework done - and Brynn is sad she's no longer the "only child" at home. I can't get the house clean enough to discern if I need to fix anything up to get it ready to sell. I'm worn out. I feel unappreciated and don't feel like I've done anything during the day.

Maybe I'm just hormonal. I call my mom to see if she has any advice for being stressed out & she keeps asking what my point is for calling her. So my girlfriend's mom died after a 3 week sickness. She was 38 weeks pregnant when her mom died. Of course I was sad for her, what a terrible situation - what a quick unexpected death. She tells me her mom was her rock. So I think I need to call my mom and maybe try on a relationship with her - but all I get is "why did you call me? what do you need? Hurry, I have to go finish being verbally abused by my favorite children."

Just tired.

Belly Nuh Bang - can you translate it for me?

my girl tuck in yuh belly
i beg yuh tuck in yuh belly
ah weh yuh ah go wid dat man?
tuck in yuh side
(chorus)
from yuh know yuh belly noh bang
and yuh know seh yuh look good ina yuh thong gyal
skin out! yuh belly look clean and yuh know yuh fit ina magazine.
yuh see it. (bruk out, bruk out!)
from yuh know yuh belly noh bang
and yuh know seh yuh look good ina yuh thong gyal (goodas gyal!)
skin out! yuh belly look clean and yuh know yuh fit ina magazine

verse 1
some gyal belly bag over like shirt
one bag ah flab dem need some ab work
big butt and big gut gyal dat noh work
and mi nah even smile nor smirk
yuh fi tek care ah yuh self gyal
know what yuh worth
yuh belly noh fi look like seh yuh ah give birth
yuh foot favour broomstick,
don't wear skirt mi gyal mogle, mogle
yuh noh shape like di earth (never!)
walk out, skyjuice ah noh yuh daddy mogle
pon ah gyal yuh belly flat like bammy
yuh cute and sexy, round up like tammy
ah you win di flat belly grammy. mi gyal!

(chorus)
verse 2
from yuh know seh yuh look good deborah
yuh skin noh marky and stripe up like zebra
hold up yuh hand from yuh hot like peppa
walk through di dance yuh ah real hot steppa (mi gyal!)
from yuh know seh yuh have flat belly
yuh hot ina yuh swimsuit like kriss kelly
when yuh ah walk it nah shake like jelly
up ina di video and talk up shelly (woi ah!)
(chorus)
repeat verse 1
(chorus)

Dr.'s appt. Friday; 1:30

He was shocked I was still walking around instead of delivering a baby. I didn't feel any contractions or labor or anything - just a regular doctor's appt. 2 weeks before my due date. The doctor informed me that I was dialated to a 6 and fully effaced. Said he'd meet me at the hospital in a few minutes.

Whatever...So I went back home to do the dishes and get a babysitter for Rossi (Ann-Marie came over) - clearly his powerful suggestions that I was in labor got to me, and I went back to the hospital.

The nurse there checked me and said "I need a room, STAT" we reminisced for a few more minutes, when she stuck her head out the curtain again - and yelled "WHY don't I have a room for her yet?" They brought me to my room.

I asked my nurse to order the epidural...and started to play gin rummy with Ross. A few minutes later, I asked where the epi was...(very calmly) the nurse said she didn't think I needed one because I was so calm, so she didn't order one. I told her, in my calmest voice "The reason I'm calm is because I've ordered an epidural, you don't want to disappoint me, I can turn vicious on a dime."

The epidural came, but it was pointless. The doctor walked in to say hello and "see, told ya you'd be back" He gave me a catheter - wrote his name with my pee (man thing, I'm sure) - I was a 7 - I had only been at the hospital 37 minutes, I told him I felt like I was ready to push...he said, "If that's what you wanna do, go for it" (I go from 7-10 in .2 seconds) at 4:35p.m., out came my 125 pound 11 year old daughter....WTH? That's what happens when you blink, I guess?