Life's Lessons

When Rossi was 3, we had just moved to the Phoenix area, we left our apartment to play downstairs in the "big grass" as he liked to call it.  He picked a flower from the garden, and I told him not to pick the flowers. (My purpose in telling him was because we didn't want all the pretty flowers to be gone and dead, then no one could appreciate them, but he learned a different lesson) While he was holding and showing me the flower, I saw, walking down the stem of the flower, was a recently disturbed bee.  I said in a calm voice, "Ross, put the flower down."  He was a curious boy, and didn't immediately obey my command.  I said it a little more firm "Ross, DROP the flower!" he looked at me and meant to reply, "It's okay, there are more flowers," but he didn't complete his sentence, because the bee stung him. 

The look on his face said it all "What magical powers must you possess to hurt my finger while you're so far away from me?" and "I wasn't doing anything wrong!"  and "Why did I get hurt because I picked this flower?!" Then came the blood curling scream, followed shortly by the tears.

I ran him upstairs - this was my first child, this was my first experience with a bee sting...what if he's allergic? What if he swells up and dies? I have a baby (Kiersten wasn't 1 yet) how can I take care of TWO children while one of them is in the process of dying?  I didn't know what to do...I paged my mom in Idaho at her work.  I went online (the internet was BRAND spankin' new - I was fancy to have access) - there was a stinger sticking out of his finger, and guts attached...I had always heard not to pull a stinger out because it would push the poison into the finger more...I called my mom (she had 5 children, and plenty of bee sting experience, I was stung once when I stepped on a bee - I don't remember screaming as loud or as long as my son, but I must have, because my son was BRAVE). 

After what felt like an eternity of Rossi writhing and crying and screaming and me wanting to know how to take away his pain (I remember wanting to know why bees had to sting, and if they had to sting, why did the sting have to hurt, and if it had to hurt, why couldn't I take the pain from my baby boy and inflict it upon myself...)...my mom finally called me...I don't remember the turn of events, whether she told me to use a credit card or if I read it on the internet, but my mom could hear Rossi screaming in the background, I'm sure she was just as concerned as I was - (I couldn't really hear her - Rossi has a LOUD voice, if you know him, you know what I'm talking about).

Finally we got the stinger out - and the pain slowly went away.  The next time we went downstairs, he looked at the beautiful flower garden and commented, "It's not good to pick the flowers" - I also noticed - when he got too close to the pond and I said "Ross, back away from the water,"  he immediately turned and walked away.  Could it be possible that the previous experience of his bee sting and not listening to his mother immediately had changed the way he viewed "obeying his mother?"

It seems as though - while I wanted to take his pain away - this was something he had to go through, in order to understand why it's important to obey your mother.  Now, this is a small analogy with seemingly minimal lasting effects.  Has my son obeyed every word I've ever said?  uh NO.  Does he remember this bee sting and how it came to pass?  I asked him - nope, nothin' in the noggin'. 

Additionally, I was listening to the BYU channel - (and I'm sorry that I can't give this guy credit because I had never seen him before, nor paid attention to his name, just heard the story, seems like it was a devotional somewhere).

Anyway - he was telling a story about when he was leaving his mission.  He was in his last interview with his mission president before leaving for home.  He indicated to his mission president that if he had it to do all over again, he would change this & that - a few little tweaks - to make his mission "perfect".  His mission president quickly shut him down "No you wouldn't change anything!" He went on to explain - everything you did, given the opportunity again, you would do it the exact same way you did it before. Because you would know the exact things you knew before.  The choices we make - and the natural consequences that follow - shape and mold who we are.

Our choices and experiences can show us different paths we need to take in the future, they can direct us toward current choices we have to make, we see our errors, the consequences, and we GROW from them.

Take a look back into your own life.  What choices have you made that you wish you could have a "do-over?"  If you had a do-over...and made a different choice, would you BE the person that you are today? These stories remind me what we have been told regarding our trials; that every peril you pass through in this life will give you experience and be for your good (see D&C 122:7).