Fun at the Dinner Table.

Sitting at dinner tonight was pretty mellow at first. A few complaints - can't please them all -

Rossi's stating - matter of factly - that he's a carnivore and he doesn't eat veggies. I told him - "Veggies are good for you, they help you....uh...flush the toilet easier."

Simultaneously Howie piped up and spewed forth at least a sentence worth of information from his "lower cheeks" which made him laugh through pursed lips. We all tried to be social upper class folk by politely ignoring it, but his face was so funny, I had to ask him to repeat himself, because I wasn't sure what he said, or even if he was talking to me...which - of course, set out a burst of loud laughter from the surrounding brood. Howie then told me he thought he was a vegetarian, because he wasn't too fond of the chicken, and IF and WHEN he flushed the toilet, it normally went down rather smoothly..."couldn't you tell, my butt was talking to you." Of course, I had to stifle that kind of talk at the dinner table.

Brynn didn't much care what kind of butt talk I stifled, because she grabbed a fork-full of chicken and continued "I no like shicken, it's bum-cake food." At this point, I'm laughing so hysterically on the inside and biting the inside of my cheeks (upper) to keep the appearance of the persona from the upper class folk (it's a rule not to laugh at crass remarks particularly at dinner, but apparently all hades has broken loose at our dinner table). I told Brynn to put her shicken on Howie's plate, there's more room.

Howie didn't like the chicken on his plate, cause he's a self proclaimed anti-shicken vegetarian, so he took it and threw it behind him - hitting the window then watching it fall to the floor.

Absolutely unacceptable.

"Howie, you're going to sweep the floor when we're done with dinner." Brynn liked the idea of throwing the shicken on the floor, and we had to stop her abruptly. I told her that Howie needed to take at least one bite of shicken, so give it to him. He sat there with his mouth pursed closed and still a giggle from his earlier flatulent remark. She tried to put the shicken in his mouth, but he kept moving his head back & forth - and his mouth was glued shut.

At this point, Rossi told Brynn to plug his nose because then he'd have to open his mouth to get air. Kali grabbed two peas off her plate & told Brynn to stick them up Howie's nose.

Hmmm, good idea...however, Brynn is not that affluent in ways to politely plug other people's noses. So she took her two fingers - index and middle - and gently slid them into each of Howie's nostrils...He laughed, mouth still closed, snot blew everywhere and no one could finish their dinner.

Kiesten's my perfect child.