Where have I been?

cleaning? fighting the perpetual war on dust & dirt & laziness.

I'm decorated impaired - Ross has a better eye for things than I do....so I get this better homes & garden book the cover says "7 steps to your dream room" and the article says you can do it in 48 hours - it's a very detailed article, I mean - it tells you what DAY and TIME to do things - so my first hang up is the fact that it says to start on FRIDAY - I really wanted to start today - I may not have time on Friday - ya know? then it says 5:00p.m. - again - what's the matter with 11 a.m.? I just really barely overcame that hurdle in my procrastination excuse and then decided I'm going to start on a THURSDAY at 11 - so then I read the first sentence - and I just CAN'T do it - "Friday 5:00 p.m. Have a glass of wine, unwind from the week..." I mean - I wonder if it would be okay to substitute it for a diet Rite? Can anyone help me?!

Entertaining my sleeplessness.

We just got back from the hospital last night - Poor Rossi ran into a pole, he had to have stitches. Here's a picture after they cleaned it. Although it really doesn't do him justice, it was GAPING and WIDE and about an inch long. He got 5 happy stitches.

Ross isn't feeling well, chest cold/head cold of sorts. So when we got home, he jumped directly into bed while I helped settle Rossi into his own bed. I came back in and the walls were SHAKING. Ross was sawing logs w/ a chainsaw. How can I sleep in that? So I figured instead of punching the poor sick man, I'd have fun entertaining myself.

I video taped Ross Snoring, then I put it on the tv (just the sound, no picture) and turned it up really loud - and the TV Ross was battling snores w/ the sleeping Ross - and when it woke him up, I'd mute it and act like I was sleeping, he'd be like "what was that" I said (all morning voice)- "honey, you're snoring pretty loud, maybe it's waking you up?" then 2 seconds later, he started the snore, I'd rewind the tape & play it loud again -

I can fully entertain myself. Now if I can only get brynn to do that.

The olden days.

Years ago, when I first started shaving my legs, it was with one of those one-bladed disposable pink razors. That was fine, especially since it was built to cut your legs. I shouldn't have been shaving at such a young age. Shaving was too far ahead of me. The one-bladed razor won and I didn't wear shorts for 3 years. Nor did I wear tank tops, because know it or not, when you shave your pits w/ a newly purchased pre-dulled blade, your pits will break out with acne-type BOILS and no one likes a boil-y arm pit. I couldn't figure out how the ladies on TV didn't have zits in their pits?

Anyhow - Just before I got married, I discovered a NEW kind of a razor. This one had TWIN blades AND a "moisture strip" ahhhhh - I will have zitless pits for my wedding! I couldn't have been more thrilled! I had a great relationship with this "personal touch" razor for 15 years. I bought a pack of 10 refill blades when I needed them, and they would last me quite a while. Well, this last purchase of refill blades were on sale, I could buy 10 and get a 5 pack for $1. I was in hairless heaven!! The 10 packs lasted me almost 3 years, I only shave my legs once a week (emotional scars from childhood skin-peeling sessions) and my pits would get the hack twice a week. I would change my blades out every 3-4 months - and that was okay - since previously I was used to shaving with a dull blade fresh out of the pack, and THIS blade was a TWIN blade, that means there were TWO, so even if one was dull right out of the pack, I had a spare blade right behind it cleaning up what the first one missed! It was wonderful. My razor and I had a great relationship.

UNTIL (insert tense monster movie theme song here) I ran out of razor refils for my personal touch razor. Now, that's not normally a problem, but I went from 3 to 5 kids somewhere between my last razor refill purchase and at this juncture twin blade razors are a thing of the past. Not only could I chose from a collection of MACH 3 razors - - which not only had 3 blades to them, but they had speed stripes down the razor handle, itself, but I also had my choice of different angled FOUR razor blades as well as a plethora of different size, shape & thicknesses of handles! I saw one that had little wires running perpendicular across the blades and advertises that it will keep you from nicking your legs w/ their many & extra sharp blades. Yep, you heard me right, you don't actually need the razor to TOUCH your leg to get a close shave!

There was another one (shhh - move closer....) that came with a battery that made the razor shake gently...so you could vibrate the hairs to stand up on end to get even a CLOSER shave. Because - yah - that's what the "inventors" of the vibrating razor were thinking...never mind that you have FOUR RAZOR BLADES connected to a newly engineered AERO DYNAMIC razor handle with a speed stripe in your hand.

From the looks of it, I could well have been in this isle (yep, isle, they have an entire ISLE dedicated to the slicking up of one's legs, as before, it was just in the checkout isle and sold as an impulse item?!!) Well, I got a razor with 3 blades, I only had the eggs to upgrade ONE razor. This one pivots. It works okay, but the next time I go to the store, they'll have invented one that shaves for you, I won't even have to touch a razor again. Of course, at that time in my life, I will have missed the news announcement that we no longer shave our legs because it causes cancer.

Random thought

So if Noah brought two of everything on board w/ him on the ark...he must have brought the ant? Because ants don't like water, they'll drown. He must also have brought the ant eater, because, well, he brought two of everything. So here's my question, if the ants were brought on board and survived the flood, why didn't the ant eater eat them all? Did the ants have a little ant house that Noah built for them? Did he bring a bunch of sand on board with him, so the ants could have fun tunnelling?

How about the termite? Didnt they eat a hole in the ark, or did Noah somehow sedate them? Bring a few extra trees for them to gnaw on ?

Shopping trip!

Today is "twin day" at the kids' school. Kali & Kiersten both found friends to dress up like twins, but they didn't have twin clothes - SOOOO - I took them and their two friends (Sydnee and Sylvie - try to keep from messing THOSE names up!) out to shop. We were originally planning on getting just cheap clearance shirts, but they were buy one-get one free, so we got pants, too! It was fun after I told Kiersten she could get the pants to hear her through the dressing room speaking quietly in an excited squeel about how happy she was!! Kali, on the other hand, had nothing to do with quiet. Her & Sylvie squeeled, posed and danced around the dressing room with their NEW clothes on!

Now Ross needs stuff!

So *THAT'S* what it's like?

Brynn got her shots yesterday. I refused the flu shot for her, that's just a dumb shot. She didn't cry the first shot, but she didn't like the second or third ones. She was a little complainey during the day, not much. The doctor said I need to just put her down at a more decent hour (more decent that 11-11:30) and to just let her cry - a concept I'm not familiar with in my associations with Brynn. So I put her down at 9:00 - actually just before 9 - 8:40, and she fell asleep seconds later. She didn't wake up until 4:20 when I was ready to have a milk-balloon fight with the next set of nipples that entered the room. Unfortunately, there were none. So I got up to pump and just as I pulled the equipment out - she stirred - A SIGN!! So I picked her up & she suckled! Went straight back to sleep not to be heard of again until 8:30. UHM! EH HEMMMM!! I got 7 hours of UNINTERRUPTED sleep - I was so refreshed and excited that I couldn't go back to sleep...But I knew I must - because 7 - although it's more than I've gotten in the last 9 months - is just not a good number of hours for me - so I excitedly tried to fall asleep for the next 3 hours at which time I went out like a light.

**LESSONS LEARNED** if ever again I sleep 7 hours straight and can't go back to sleep - get up and CLEAN. Go back to bed at 7:30, I'll be sufficiently worn out to get those last 15 or so minutes before Brynn recognizes I've relaxed.

Things that make you go hmmmmmm

I wonder, don't you, about the flu....does it ever realy leave your body - you know like mono - you get it and it sort of goes into hybernation. is the flu like that - I mean - where did it start? Did Adam give it to Eve? and then after that, did Noah bring it onto the ark? I don't get it...did you ever think about that? and if everyone who doesn't have it were sent to a tropical island where it didn't exist, when everyone on the earth was finished having it and on the tropical island, could we all go back home & never get it again? Seems like a quite simple solution, don't ya think? Didja ever think a that? well, didja didja? Well, now you can.

And know what else has been crossing my mostly empty head the past few days....why are sterriods such a big deal w/ baseball players, it doesn't make them better, it's all hand/eye coordination - I mean - honestly, do they check golf players for sterriods? Is Tiger Woods on sterroids? And how in the world would that help him? and did you notice that the words world and would are only one letter difference. And is there a word when you keep saying a word over and over and over and over and over and over again until that word doesn't sound like a real word again, or if you type it over and over and over and over and over again, until it doesn't look like a real word, like the word "over" see where I'm going....right, absolutely no where.

yes, I am back. and I have to clean the bathroom, it smells like pee, because howie is aim-impaired. I also have to do the dishes, apparently no one knows how to do dishes in the house - 'cept me and there are no dishes, they've been using paper, which reminds me, I have to take the garbage out, too....

Okay - honestly (isn't that silent "h" interesting, you don't really need it, but we use it, cause well, "h" just isn't used enough, but when it is used, it's usually silent, like in "ghost" or "knife" - wait, that's a K - that's not so silent, neither is brynn, off I goto feed her. - goto should be one word, like onto or into or unto or duku, wait, that's star wars...) oh - back to my "honestly" comment; Ross was a huge help when I was ill-ridden - he took yesterday and today off work while I lay lifeless in bed - he only brought brynn to me when she wanted a sucker and made the kids stay quiet, not only that - I think I may fake sick the rest of the week, for the benefit of the kids - cause they're really being big helps, well, they're not really doing the dishes (evident) but they're doing homework and not fighting - which dang, warm fuzzies, huh?!

Okay - I'm off - before I go onto another tangent.

Ross is on his death bed.

It's aweful, he's so miserable right now, I know because I was on a similar death bed, although, his death bed has pillows and a blanket, mine was in the kitchen and my pillow was the hot stove as I stewed my fever over dinner, afterwords my warm blanket was the throws of the hot steam coming from the sink as I was doing dishes from dinner. BUT that's not all...poor Brynn got sick, too, and she was up all night, I was sick, couldn't breathe, couldn't swollow, and now I'm up feeding my poor sick miserable baby. Ross was in bed...he doesn't get out of bed once he's down. Last night to "make up" for the fact that I was so sick and miserable, he said "I hope you get used to the idea of sleeping tonight, I'm going to get up with Brynn so you can have a full night rest and she'll just have to get used to the idea of a bottle. I just laughed. What else was there to do? At least he got up early this morning after his full night rest and let me sleep in!

Back so soon....

"Because I'm the mommy, that's why." It no longer holds water. Kids are being born smarter now-a-days that they were even 10 years ago. I have 5 kids, my 11 year old wasn't sitting up until he was 7-8 months old. My 5th child was sitting up at 4 months old. They're getting brighter. That isn't to say my oldest isn't bright. On the contrary, he sucks in everything you say, records it in his database brain and holds it for future dates to use against you or in his favor. I can't even remember what I ate for dinner last night.

Of course, it is totally a "kid" thing. I remember my mom getting FAKE fingernails. That wasn't a very trendy thing to do when I was a kid, so I told everyone we met, strangers and friends, alike. Not cause I wanted her to look like a fake-fingernail-bearer, but because it was SO cool what they could do with fingernails back then! Well, I now know when she showed me the underside of her "real" fingernails that there was no secondary nail growing that she was just trying to shut me up. I couldn't prove it, because, after all, there was no secondary nail growing under that 2-inch thick fingernail. But I didn't defy my mother vocally about her fake fingernails any more. Now that I hit the magical age in finger-nail growth - where overnight my nails got stronger and longer, I have to find different ways of entertaining my children around guests so that they don't somehow "shock" the stranger by telling them what isn't already obvious, "My mom has a zit right next to her nose, and if you squeeze it from both sides, white stuff comes out." Was there such things as zits when I was 6?

It's only been...uh, over a month.

You would think that with all the time I have doing NOTHING that I would actually get to spend more time blogging...but no. Not too much. Hopefully more upcoming as Brynn becomes addicted to benedryl. Nap times should be more frequent.

Howie apologized to me the other day "Mom, I'm so very sorry, but I just had to use your catepillar killer." Naturally I have no idea what he is talking about other than the fact that he has either a) used something he wasn't supposed to use or b) broke something after using it that he wasn't supposed to use or c) playing pirates in his room. I quickly ruled out "c" and asked him "what happened?" As he continued to apologize it became evident to me, whatever my catepillar killer was, was in his hand behind his back. "Where is my catepillar killer now?" As he sheepishly uncovered his hand from behind him, he revealed a very muddy, gutty eyelash curler. The good news is, the catepillar is no longer eating up the grapevine.

I'm going to write a book.