Friday, April 27, 2007

The dreaded video.


Yep, she's old enough - I signed the permission slip, Kiersten officially knows about how (and maybe even why?) ladies get punctuation. I wanted to go see the video with her. Parents were invited, however, I forgot. She came home and embarrassed me about what they saw. Something about how the boys left the room, but since they couldn't find the boy video on their class TV, they just watched the girl video...yes, my friends, that is how our school district operates - we promise to show them private stuff to get them all embarrassed, who cares if it relates to girls or to boys...but I digress.

I can only hope it's a much better than the video I saw in 5th grade - you know - the one w/ the sperm & the top hat? I left that room thinking "that was the dumbest cartoon I ever did see." And "I bet they don't sell those characters in a happy meal."

Never mind my experience came a little while later (I can't remember how old I am now, how should I remember how old I was then?) when I thought I was going to bleed to death, went up to my mom and showed her how I must be dying because LOOK...and my mom looked up at me, smiled and took me out to Baskin Robins 31 flavors...and I to this day, I wonder why it is I need a scoop of ice cream every 28 days? Of course, I got the same treatment when the boob fairy came...guess I should be eating a scoop of ice cream daily?

SOOO - as a parent who has NO idea how to answer her question as to why it's fair that a girl gets a visit from the punctuation goddess, but the boys don't. I guess I could just stock up on the Blue Bell and wait for the day...

Thursday, April 26, 2007

In other news

My father-in-law just had knee replacement surgery! I just love this man! He's such a neat person and a great example to my loving husband! Although - yes - there was an occasion at which I had to take and butter up my fingers to smear all over his eye glasses, for the most part, he's great!

So he just had this surgery - and being the TERRIBLE daughter in law that I am - having NEVER send a birthday card or fathers day card (hey, I'm an equal opportunity offender - I don't send cards to anyone - and yep, I know it falls under my responsibility as female representative of this household - so find a way to deal with it if you can). But I thought - surgery - that's a big deal - so I polled some friends and we came up with this little "goodie basket" A bed pan w/ some wet wipes & crossword puzzles to help take up his time w/ some fruit - HUGE high 5 to Crysty who put it together & delivered it to the hospital - to help me secure once more the coveted trophy "favorite daughter in law" prize...that is accompanied by praise about me to other of his children and in-laws - as well as the master-undoing of any birthday or special occasion cards I never sent out. I love coming up w/ fun things like this - and I love that I have Crysty to follow through on my ideas! LOVE YOU CRYS!

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Years ago

(dedicated to Mel to show her that I don't care what she says or wears....not too many things you can do to shock me!)
Ross's cousin had a baby. Their family was coming into town and he has 10 siblings, and their spouses and their kids...parents, grandparents and that's just on one side of the family, she had 5 siblings & parents & family & kids & stuff - so they decided to try to do the baby blessing at MY house - it was a big open space and they wouldn't kick all the "regular" Church goers out of the chapel by filling it w/ their own family (how annoying is that when your "regular" bench is occupied by someone else - and you have to sit back in the hard metal chairs? dang!)

SO - we had 70 plus people in my house for a baby blessing - I was in charge of the food - (because it wasn't enough that I had to clean the house in preparation of it being totally and utterly destroyed --- but I digress....) So we said an opening prayer (our bishop, their bishopric & the SP were all present at my house for the joyous occasion - as well as all the family members, etc) we had a quick 30 second scripture quote thing - then we had the baby blessing and a closing prayer - so in a 3 minute window we had 3 blessings -- one to bless the blessing, one to bless the baby and one to bless the house & refreshments....

Not 30 seconds later, I pulled the lasagna out of the oven and burn the HELL out of my arm - everyone's being reverent - looking at the sweet baby - I have two sisters in law in my kitchen helping me w/ the food preparations - and as I touch the oven door w/ my forearm, I yelled (no not a quiet thing - this was a shock a burn - OUCH) "Oh shit!" (slight pause for effect) "dammit that hurt" And turned around to see that I had caught everyones attention in the room - So I did what any true blue blooded mormon girl in my situation would have done - I crossed myself by way of penance and high fived my SIL - then proceeded to announce that it was a good thing the food was just blessed...but next time maybe they could bless the hands that had prepared it?

Friday, April 20, 2007

My 3's!

Twiggy & Slush both did it - so now here's my chance!
Three things:
I LOVE
My Family
Mother Nature -candid
Baby's laughter

I MISS
being able to eat & taste whatever I want instead of "apply directly to hips"
grandpa
weather (hello - PHOENIX - nuf said)

I HATE
when people are judgmental
waking up from a DEEP REM because SOMEONE had the TV up too loud!
people who harm children

People who make me Laugh
Ellen
Howie
Slush

SCARE ME
bad dreams
The book of Revelations
Kids who wear their pants down to their knees & show their boxers

On my Desk
Lamp
Bills to be paid.
Change jar.

I Want to Do in this Life
Live so I deserve a headstone that says "best mom in the world"
Everything I'm supposed to (dinner every night, clean house, happy kids, happy husband, eat right, play nice, etc)
Go on a mission

Things I CAN do
I can make people laugh when they're down
I can deliver a baby w/out drugs!
I can do anything you can do...better

Things I CAN'T do
Can't drink while doing a handstand
can't flip off a diving board
can't even pretend to do a belly flop


Things I would like to Learn
another language or two
how to fly an airplane
how the brain works so I can help my screwey friends out.

I REGRET
learning bad eating habits when I was skinny & it didn't matter
Not living in hind sight
thinking about things I regret cause that can't be changed.

Favorite Foods
Chocolate
infants - I could gobble them RIGHT up if it weren't illegal.
asparagas

Favorite TV shows as a kid
Lavern & Shirley
Silver Spoons
when I was a kid we didn't HAVE TV

Now post YOURS on your blog!

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Well, it's that time of the month...

the time of the month that we've been dreading --- we have it marked on the calendar, and until automation replaces the taxpayer, we will squeeze every last drop of green blood we have to send to a country that was founded to avoid high taxation.

Yes, the government's idea of checks & balances are - they write the checks, and we pay the balance...

Don't even think about leaving the comment "We did our taxes in January and got a HUGE return, we'll totally be able to take the family out for Happy Meals & McFlurries!" Our tax bill could have bought us a very nice ski-boat...and the lake - since there's no water to speak of here.

Saturday, April 14, 2007

Do you sometimes wonder

how your husband can go to the bathroom so many times a day - and for such a long period - and sometimes - how - when you hear the rapid gunfire of indigestion coming from the loo - the day after you clean the throne - it manages to splash back up to the back part of the throne - and how sometimes - you tease said husband about said throne room events? WELL - last night I came to a full appreciation of male pattern indigestion.

Nope, not yet ever in my life had I actually peed water from my large intestine - but this morning at 4 - I found myself running for the small water closet, where I proceeded to --- command the firing squad to aim at the water below - - -

I've been "thinking" in that room for much of the day - no idea why or what caused it...and only hoping that my scale will notice my lack of sleep...wondering if maybe I got a parasite or worm or something - which - I would kind of think is cool, since you get skinny & stuff - and then I was thinking - it could also make me go blind - take all my vitamin K from my carats & then I'd be skinny & not be able to admire myself.

I hope that doesn't happen.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

What a day.

Started out at 5:15 this morning. Ross was talking in his sleep about something being dangerous - and it woke me up. Since the sun was also starting to rear its ugly face, and Pete took my pillow in the middle of the night - I couldn't get comfortable & fall back to sleep.

I finally crawled out at 6:00. I wanted to take a shower, but decided instead to do a load of laundry. Brynn also woke up - because the moment she senses movement - it's over. She's a light sleeper...will be nice once she has a room of her own - not MY bathroom. Regardless, I got a load of laundry started & unload the dishes. I caught Rossi off guard because he's not supposed to play x-box - he was doing it w/out sound - and normally I don't wake up until they wake me up for prayer at 7:30 before they leave to catch the bus. Since I was up "so early" I started french toast for the kids - kiersten wanted to grill it - I also made some syrup. The kids and Pete enjoyed it (Pete is my 6th child)

I had to meet the window covering installation crew at the new house to let them in. Looks fabulous - still waiting for the shutters, but everything else is up & looks great. I'll post pictures later. Still not fully decided on tile...although I gave our flooring guy a tile that I wanted (same tile in my current house) and he gave me an estimate that was just a few dollars shy of $10K. Hmmm, this base level cheap carpet is starting to grow on me.

7:30 I headed back home to tuck the kids safely into their school bus. Rossi went to our friend's house to feed their dogs (they're away in Utah at a funeral). I turned back to kiss Ross and kick Pete out the door to work. Of course, at this time Brynn gets a little lonely - and feels like being at home is really for losers since everyone else left...we decided we'd go for a bike ride.

Around and around and around we go 3 times - I forgot I told my friend I'd babysit her 3 children (as soon as I remembered, I realized why I couldn't fall back to sleep at 5:15 this morning - a bit of anxiety) while she attended stake temple day. She's got an 8 month old, a 2.5 year old and a 4.5 year old. The 4.5 year old was at joy school in my neighboring neighborhood. So I just had the two girls.

Brynn decided to go woo woo in the toilet - just a pebble really, enough to unplug the diahreah behind it - which the diaper caught the minute after I gave her the celebratory poop-going dum dum sucker as a poop reward. My friend & her children showed up & she left in a hurry leaving no diapers - or food (she nurses the baby). Of course within an hour the baby was out of control furious. I gave her apple sauce. That stayed her anger. The other girl ate almost a whole box of yogurt cheerio's. The rest of the box was emptied on the living room floor.

Every time I picked up the baby from crying, Brynn needed to make sure there was no competition & she, too, had to be held. I thought that was kind of cute. So they just sat on my boring lap while we watched Little Mermaid.

Baby started getting restless - so I put her down in Brynns bed for a nap, which in turn really infuriated Brynn. "NO ONE WILL SLEEP IN MY MOM'S BATHROOM BUT ME." I sent Rossi to the park w/ the 2 year old...just so I could cuddle w/ Brynn on my bed to get her to take a nap w/out any noise from the outside world.

Time came to pick up the other little babysitting boy from joy school - I hopped on the bike w/ kid trailer in tote (since if I started the truck in the garage, Brynn would wake up!!) and rode it as fast as I could to the neighbor's house in the neighboring neighborhood. I banged on the door, threw the boy in the trailer & we had small talk on the way back to my house went something like this
4yo: "I've never been in one of these before"
me: Is it fun?
4yo: yah, you know I can ride a 2 wheeler?
me: Really, do you want to switch places?
4yo: I think you're too fat and I don't think my feet would touch those pedals.

So I waddled on the bike down back to the house as quick as I can - since I'm babysitting & no one was actually HOME with the babies - and Ross was at the park w/ the other girl - but the 4yo wanted to play with his hero, Rossi. So I brought him to the park - apparently, Rossi's a kid magnet - because the lady across the street, who runs a daycare had her kids there lined up while Rossi took them by the arms to swing them in circles. Meanwhile, It's time to take Rossi to the college where they facilitate the state standardized tests.

I got my neighbor girl to come & stay at the house w/ the sleeping bumpkins, and I didn't have car seats for the awake bumpkins, so I had her stay there while I took Rossi to testing. But we didn't eat lunch yet, I was more concerned about Rossi - so I stopped off at the Subway to get him a quick sandwich to go. At this point, I got a phone call from my realtor that said someone is going to be at the house in 45 minutes.

SOOOO - Screw the standardized tests - I took Rossi back home - bribed the neighbor girl (who is in 9th grade & didn't have standardized tests today, so they gave them the day off - great education system, don't you think?) to help clean - she did phenominal - (remember I have 3 extra children & a lot of cheerios that have been tossed & crunched into the ground) and 5 of my own children that don't understand the purpose of a laundry hamper, a hanger or a drawer...and two loads of laundry that I had done but not yet folded and two more in the washer & dryer....it was a complete disaster.

Nonetheless the team of us managed to get things straightened up completely in 42 minutes - we tossed everyone in the car - yep, no car seats - naughty naughty! and drove the speed limit w/ the neighbor girl holding tight to the seat belted 2 year old (I did have an infant chair I used for the baby thank goodness) and drove to the college 1/2 hour late for Ross' testing. Thankfully they were doing math, which is his strong point, so he started 1/2 hour late and finished about 15 minutes before everyone else.

Went back to the house to see if they had come - no realtor card, so I went to the park & let the kids run amuk. Got another call from the realtor saying someone else wanted to come see the house in 30 minutes - THANK GOODNESS It was already done, I don't think I had any more calories to burn for the day. So as I'm sitting at the park, it's now 2:30, my friend shows up to get the kids - talked w/ her for a while & she took the kids.

YAH!

My cuban friend called & asked if I could pick her up from work (money problems has left them w/ just one car & her dh had it and wouldn't be able to pick her up until 8 that night) so I picked up Kiersten from school 1/2 hour early (didn't want her coming home to an empty home w/ people showing up), picked up Rossi from testing & went to the other side of the town to pick up my friend from work. We had a nice talk on the way home about faith - how you can't always see the end from the beginning, you just have to take a few steps in a dark tunnel before you turn a corner to see the light at the end. It was a nice little talk.

Got home at 5:30 to dh wanting me to go to the house w/ him to look at the blinds.

Went - but then Pete decided that I needed to make him dinner - so we rushed home to a snow-globe - because - yes, the kids had been home for an hour - and clearly they were uncomfortable staring at the blank slate that was a clean house - and made fajitas while Ross read scriptures w/ the kids.

Here I am now typing an update of my day - while only moments ago Brynn tripped while carrying a pencil and came only 1/2 a centimeter from slicing her eye open. Thankfully the lower lid was sliced & she's developed a nice little "my mom neglects me" shiner.

I'm ready for bed.

Monday, April 09, 2007

The latest thoughts on today's happenings....

The Realtors that came by were doing a preview for their clients - WE PASSED the cut! So I'm glad I was able to get it close to show ready for them to come today! They're going to bring their clients on Saturday! PTL!!

On Howie - he's got the hypoglycemic tendency - mainly because he NEVER *quite literally* eats sweets! The sweetest he eats is maybe a soda - but he has always preferred diet - occasionally he'll go w/ a slushie - but again - a VERY rare treat! So the Easter candy - and the fact that I was like "I'm going to be the best mom in the world and not make them eat a healthy breakfast" I remember thinking my mom sucked for feeding me an omelet on Easter morning! Apparently she's not as sucky as me! LOL!

Just have to make sure he gets some good food in w/ his holiday treats in the future! He told me today he was never going to eat chocolate again - I cried, that was a painful thing for someone like me to hear..it's like blaspheme!

So - It's interesting - just last night I was praying about various things - faith & whatnot - questioning if I really did get the "okay" to buy a house - knowing when I bought it - not even having faith, but KNOWING - that I didn't even need faith because I trusted that HF would take care of it, I just KNEW it would be okay - since I got the "okay" to buy - so last night I'm wondering "why did you give me the okay? was it just in my head - do I even know what inspiration is?"

So tonight as I was talking w/ the love of my life - it occurred to me - since the whole thing was a blur - and what was the rush? He's been low on his oxygen before, and quite literally - I wasn't worried about his breathing - I watched him, he looked fine - he wasn't exhibiting any signs of asthma, except for being lethargic...no wheezing, no coughing...so WHY would I take him in? Normally I would just try and get some steroids off the black market - but I called Ross & told him I better take Howie in - it was eminent - if I didn't take him in then, he'd be in later - and better to do it when the kids were in school - than try to juggle dinner, etc - so I took him in - quite literally if I took him much later, he'd have slipped too far to come back. Why did I take him in? I don't remember a loud or even quiet voice telling me this was urgent? I just did it.

It occurred to me that I was inspired and instead of spending time trying to say "oh look, the Holy Ghost is saying something to me" I acted - not even questioning - until tonight - why I did it. I know I was inspired to take him in. I'm so glad I didn't rationalize myself out of it. I think promptings are different for everyone, for me the inspiration isn't a slap in the face wake up - but more of a sure thing, a "gimme". Which is totally not like the "normal" me who says "he'll be okay - let him rest a few hours" or "ohhh - that's going to be a hefty bill" (note - major medical deductible insurance only!!) so yah - then when the realtor came through - and told us we made the cut - it just all made me realize that my prayer last night was answered. No, this might not be the buyer, BUT, it all slammed me this morning - everything I asked for in my prayer, everything I wanted to know about, everything I wanted explained - it all happened to me - and the fact that the realtor didn't knock until the SECOND I put that windex up... I'm glad I'm not so hardened that I didn't recognize that. I'm so thankful that Heavenly Father knows that I apparently NEED to experience the answers to my prayer...they seem to sit with me longer! He's a smart guy! He really knows me!

I'm going to pass out now! LOL!

I'm ready to pass out....

So I took Howie in to see the doctor today. I thought it was his breathing - I even gave him a treatment - that didn't affect him in the SLIGHTEST...so I took him in - carried him to the car - couldn't get him to wake up - he was passed out cold...he was breathing fine, for the most part - but this is usually how he gets when he doesn't get oxygen to the system...

SOOOO - I take him in, his oxygen is at 96 - which isn't PERFECT, but isn't pass-out stage, either! So something is wrong with him...no temp...lethargic, cannot be aroused.

Doctor comes in - his lungs are clear - crisp in fact, she says - "he's fine"

I said, well, something's wrong with him, he knocked out last night...didn't even stay up for me to read to him...and didn't wake up this morning---

doctor leaves the room...comes back w/ another doctor... I asked at that time...maybe if it was carbon monoxide poisoning? Would his oxygen be down? No, but he'd be pink/reddish & puffy - which he wasn't...other doctor checked him out, they don't know what's up.

Third doctor comes in (this was Dr. House - not really, but that's what I felt like!) and asks what he ate yesterday & what he ate this morning....

Well, breakfast on Sunday was a whopping bowl of candy - (yep, call CPS, I normally put pistachios in their eggs & hide them, but at midnight when I put it all together, I had no pistachio's, so I sent Ross to the store who came back w/ jelly bellies & all manner of chocolate candy bars - RME - I suck for not being prepared, I know) And for lunch, he had a quick snickers bar, for dinner, he had jelly bellies & his chocolate bunny. Yep, I made the ham dinner w/ scallopped potatoes, but he didn't eat (he did have a bite of ham - so that I would let him have a snow cone!!) - not too much of an appetite because his system was hopped up on meth-an-sugar-phines.

He didn't eat breakfast this morning -cause he was passed out & I couldn't get him to wake up.

So here I am straight back in the code room (never any waiting when it comes to Howie & doctors) and the doctor decides we're going to do a blood sugar count.

so - a normal blood sugar from fasting (8 hours) would be under 110 - a regular - random blood sugar test would be lower to mid 100's...diabetic coma would be from 200-800, and hypoglycemic shock would be under 70.

So they prick his finger - he doesn't even notice (he's not arousing to any other stimuli, either) put it on the blood sugar tester - and I see 30! I'm like 30?!! Oh- No, now it's 29, 28? That's BAD! And the doctor started smart alecy onto me - "thirty seconds, it's timed" oh - my bad - doctor says "if it were 30, he'd be dead" okay - well, clearly it's not thirty.

So the time ticks down....


20

19

18

17

16

15

14

13

12

11

10

9

8

7

6

5

4

3

2

1.5

1

0

BEEEP

"Danger, call doctor" it reads - then it says 39!!! Yep, appears as though he's in a coma.

EEK!

Now - apparently this facility doesn't keep up on the "drink orange juice when your blood sugar is low" theory...they run all around & the best they could come up with was MOUNTAIN DEW! Do they have a cup? Nope, so they poured it in a pee container (clean --- unused, but mountain dew in a pee cup? LOL!) So they took a syringe and put it in his mouth...(again - maybe a new doctor? facility? doesn't seem right to me, but whatever, shouldn't they give him a sugar shot?) nope, apparently mountain dew is a sugar shot.

So he wakes up after his mountain dew shot...enough to sit up & drink a little more...then they gave him a ZONE protien bar - uh - again - is that the BEST they could do? LOL - cafeteria wasn't functioning correctly? No crackers? sooo -- yep, someone's zone bar...he took a bite then PUKED all over....twice.

Then laid back down.

By this time - everyone's running around - and someone comes in with wendy's chicken nuggets. He ate them & 1/2 hour later they tested him again - 89. He's alive.

So I go home & he passes out in the car again - Wendy's is RIGHT there, so I got him a frosty. He had a few bites - but now he's just dragging donkey - but conscience.

He just ate toast w/ melted cheese on the top of it. He's seeming to do better. But since he has this hypoglycemic tendency - we've got to keep real food in him - no more sugar (which - I totally SWEAR he's not a sugar daddy! - He rarely eats anything sweet/sugary!! No Joke!!)

But there you go - my morning w/ howie.

Of course, on my way back - as I'm pulling out of wendy's I get a phone call from the realtor - "Someone's coming by in an hour" uh - I'm not there, my house is LITERALLY suffering from the snow-globe effect (think turn it upside-down, shake it & then put it back rightside up to let the stuff falls where it may) We've got easter dinner & pots & pans & eggs & jelly bellies & unmaid beds & jammies & dirty under and that's just the bathroom floor! LOL! - So I ran home (yes, I sped, it is something I NEVER do!!! (except for just a few hours earlier when I was racing to keep howie alive! LOL! I was so askeerd about getting pulled over!!)

Anyway - So I cleaned everyhing in 30 minutes (it took me 20 minutes to get home) and then as I was washing the back slider - they knocked - so I gathered Brynn & Howie & snuck out the garage door - What's really annoying is that after burning my 5000 calories running through the house cleaning - the people who came by weren't REAL buyers, it was just two realtors...so not likely a sale, but my house looked okay - thanks to my 5 collapsable baskets that got filled to the brim & thrown in the garage.

So now I'm off to empty the baskets that are in the garage. I know I've burned at least 5000 calories today!

Friday, April 06, 2007

Home Sweet Home

Here's my new humble abode!

I'm having a whale of a time picking out the tile - I want dark, but the only dark I liked had reddish undertones to it, the other one, I think is too light. What think YE? I wanted to go travertine at first, but from my understanding, that's a LOT of upkeep - I'm not into upkeep.



Also picking out the granite to go best w/ the tile - I like the look w/ the dark forest green undertones, but it just doesn't go w/ the tile I like - but I LOVE my kitchen cabinets (makes having a tiny kitchen almost bearable!!)

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Warming up...

Shouting out to my mute friend...she can type, but she don't talk much! WOOOOOHOOOO! Gonna be watching my BSU play in the Fiesta Bowl on the big screen! Thanks Lisa for the DVD of the game! I'm going to have to watch it now - you can't really watch it live from the end-zone while you're freaking out and developing all kinds of heartburn and ulcers -- praying (is that sac-relig?) for a touchdown -- and Lisa, my dear friend, I loved watching the game "with" you! Thanks for the DVD *AND* most especially for the chocolate symphany soup (refer to the title of this post)! VicTOOORia has sent me some symphany soup, in the past, too! And don't get me wrong, it's just as good to drink as it is to chew, but I think you burn more calories chewing than drinking? So I put it in the freezer & picked all the tin foil wrapping off it - and ate it - whilst my offspring brood looked longingly upon me! Some things aren't meant to be shared.

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

From beloved friends who know me


Thank you for the box of guilt with a side order of "get your ass to the post office & make a difference in someone's day!" Do you have any idea the effort I had to put forth to convince Loosi that she was not going to be attacked by the headless easter bunny? (Kris sent me some high caloric treats & these easter bunny ears w/ a cute little card w/ a picture of a dog on it wearing them - so I had to "fix" the cover of the card w/ my own dawg!) Nonetheless - it was exciting to go to my mail receptical and find a little easter package from my awesome friend Kris...after spending the morning doing the final walk-through of the new house - giving the impression to the customer service rep that I am a perfectionist - and WHY oh WHY would ANYONE in their right mind want the wood putty to match the cabinets? Thank you Kris! I will have to do something to prove to someone that I'm not a non-recipracatorial-lazy-duff-good-for-nothing-friend who collects good mail whilst unsuspecting mail-box goers end up empty handed.

We sign on the house tomorrow. I think I am obligated to say how stressed I am that we'll now have two mortgages until this one sells, but quite honestly the anxiety hasn't reared it's ugly head. I have a calm peace that this house will sell soon & I'm glad for the extra time I have to spend with it. We'll stay here & swim as long as we can until this house sells! And slowly move the unnecessaries into the new house! That's a big price to pay for a storage unit, don'tcha think?