A scripture reading funny....

We were reading last night where the brother of Jared & his family brought deseret....we asked the kids what they thought it was - and Rossi sat for a while & then said "I know - it's a female desert." Well, needless to say - I expanded on his thought & said they had more dunes than your typical male desert - and well, we all had to sit quietly while Ross read the rest of the chapter - because we were all busting up.

The Clean up clause....

There's a life contract that everyone has in every association with everyone. The contract varies by age & titled (child, parent, employee, guest, relative, and so on) For example, in the contract for being a kid, there is a clean up clause. An entire section devoted to how to pick up after yourselves. In that contract, it clearly states that you are NOT to pick up after yourself. It goes on to state that if you don't pick up after yourself and a parental figure (or responsible supervisory person) requires this of you, you may, at your own option do one or several of the following:
a) pick up as requested,
b) vocalize your concern that said mess is not your responsibility (be creative with your wording, vary it from sentence to sentence, keeping adult in anticipatory suspense)
c) lay down and cry (it is expected that you steal an occasional glimpse at said adult to verify they maintain interest in your entertainment tactics)
d) claim ignorance "I don't know how"
e) express concern of being overwhelmed at this being "so much for someone my age" by stating "I need help" perhaps even pretend like you're going to be the obedient child, pick up the first item you see and then put it in the wrong place and lay it down incorrectly (for example, pick up your pants from the floor, then place them carefully and lovingly - but NOT neatly between the wall and your bed and tell the adult that this is where you like to keep your clothes so they don't get lost)

Of course, the adult has a contract as well. Given the same situation stated above you have your choice of reactions to each of the items described above. They are
a) (when a child does as asked) give praise
b) (when child utilizes the "not my responsibility" clause) let child know that said mess will not be picked up by you, but if it is, you'll be very dissapointed, then give child praise for not crying;
c) (when child exercies right to physically and vocally pitch a fit in "a-minor") quick take mess and throw it on top of child, so when they get up from their fit, technically, they are picking up their mess.
d) (when a child claims to not know how to bend over & pick things up) pull out the "old garbage bag" technique - grab a bag and threaten to show them how YOU like to pick up their mess and see if they want to demonstrate how they would like them picked up.
e) (when things are put away improperly) give child praise, send them out to play with other toys & make other messes - while you sneak in & pull towel out from bewteen bed & wall, you will undoubtedly uncover the flip flops, library book, last night's dinner, lost shoe, dirty underware, and YOUR bra...then you must pick up flip flops, libary book call the dog to help exhume last night's dinner, find mate for lost shoe, throw dirty underware in hamper & examine bra for wearability, then after re-cleaning the mess, find current location of child and repeat aforementioned "clean up request" clause for the newest, latest & greated mess...

One more birthday note...

CLICK HERE to see the Pixie's birthday video!

ONE year ago today....

I sat strapped to monitors in the hospital - they told me my contractions were 1-2 minutes apart, but I didn't feel anything, I was dialated to a 4 and they said I was a keeper.Crysty & Ross were there, tried to play texas hold'em, but I didn't catch on too quickly - so I napped while they played. They snuck me food even though the mean nurse said I couldn't eat.
I warned her several times I go from 7-10 in nothing flat - after a few hours, she checked me, said my bag was bulging and gush - there went my water, she said I was a 7...I said call the doctor. She didn't.... but they did switch nurses.

Nurse 1 told nurse 2 that I said I'd go quick, so Nurse 2 pulled out the doctor's cart...

I said "she's here."
She said "I know, dear, you're having a baby"
I said "I have to go to the bathroom"
she said "uh, no you don't...that's the baby's head" and then she pushed a button "I need all available nurses and page the doctor" and then she said "don't push"
Well, push or not, she was coming out!!! Ross ran around looking for gloves (uh??) and this is what the doctor saw when he walked in....


And here it is a year later...seems like just yesterday she was keeping me up all night...hmm, wait, it was just yesterday...

The nursing has ended

Should I be sad? I don't know - I wanted to stop nursing so I could lose weight. It's been 3 days - haven't lost an ounce. Brynn sometimes breaks my heart cause sometimes when she gets real tired, she'll ask to nurse (she smaks her lips together, it's pert-near the cutest durn thing you'll ever witness).

So I need another child to entertain her. It's like in Princess Bride where Andre the Giant is fighting Wesley - he can't do it he says "it's been so long since I fought just one man, I almost forgot how to do it" he goes on to explain that you use different techniques for fighting off 20-30 men than you do with just one. Well, the same goes with children. You fight off one much differently than you fight off 5.

Meanwhile, do I let her continue to dig my grave? Or do I live long enough so she has to change my diapers? It's really a toss up.

Dust is dominant

Right now it's humid, but apparently moisture in the air has no domination over particals. I dust probably twice a week. Wait, that's not me...I need to dust twice a week, but I don't. What I do, however think about how I need to dust at least twice a week. Last week I actually pulled out the yella can & rag and did a good once-over. I meant to continue my once-over into my room, however, I didn't, instead I put the yella can down on my dresser top. Today I found that yella can atop my dresser just as I started chipping away in my room at pile number 4.3(b) (this is the pile located against the east wall in my closet - more on that another day). Funny thing is when I picked it up, there was a less dusty area under the can - so I moved the can - I'm going to start up an experiment - I'll take pictures. I'll remember - ya right.

Well, the frog's dead.

I don't think he liked living in captivity - I did an internet search of things they eat or how to take care of them - apparently worms is a yummy treat - so we fed the critter worms - he ate them up like they were his last meal. They he started getting lathargic after a few days - maybe he didn't get enough worms - we gave him like 20 a day....? Anyway - so I dug a little area where the tomato plants grew so he could see that he was no longer in a mesh bag - that he was out in the open - and I threw a few worms in his face, and - well, came back to check on him this morning - and - his skeletal remains were left after being ravaged by ants. eek - did you know Frogs have ribs? wierd. Anyway - just for the fun of it - I checked our skimmer basket again - and a newer, LARGER frog was trying to stay alive - I put him by the side of the pool facing out - away from the pool. He's gone. I didn't have the heart to kill him off the way we did the other. Howie isn't even bothered by it. glad.

Look at Howie - isn't he just so proud to have a pet?

Remember the good times - Misty was a good hopper. Samantha would have enjoyed it.

Just for Crysty

Cause you're the only one that reads it - not like I advertize my site, but still, I saw it on your favorites and got a little misty. By "misty" I mean to say as I was cleaning out the pool from it's 2 weeks of disuse and storm water retention, in the skimmer I found a little frog...or toad, who knows - anyway - we named it misty. So once I saw my blog on your favorites, I got a little frog - or toad - I prolly need to figure out how to feed it. Howie loves him or her - sometimes he even calls her "ribbit," only cause he can't remember "misty" He did call her (or him?) "frog" for lack of a more vivid imagination.

I don't have issues...I have the whole subscription.

Where have I been?

cleaning? fighting the perpetual war on dust & dirt & laziness.

I'm decorated impaired - Ross has a better eye for things than I do....so I get this better homes & garden book the cover says "7 steps to your dream room" and the article says you can do it in 48 hours - it's a very detailed article, I mean - it tells you what DAY and TIME to do things - so my first hang up is the fact that it says to start on FRIDAY - I really wanted to start today - I may not have time on Friday - ya know? then it says 5:00p.m. - again - what's the matter with 11 a.m.? I just really barely overcame that hurdle in my procrastination excuse and then decided I'm going to start on a THURSDAY at 11 - so then I read the first sentence - and I just CAN'T do it - "Friday 5:00 p.m. Have a glass of wine, unwind from the week..." I mean - I wonder if it would be okay to substitute it for a diet Rite? Can anyone help me?!

Entertaining my sleeplessness.

We just got back from the hospital last night - Poor Rossi ran into a pole, he had to have stitches. Here's a picture after they cleaned it. Although it really doesn't do him justice, it was GAPING and WIDE and about an inch long. He got 5 happy stitches.

Ross isn't feeling well, chest cold/head cold of sorts. So when we got home, he jumped directly into bed while I helped settle Rossi into his own bed. I came back in and the walls were SHAKING. Ross was sawing logs w/ a chainsaw. How can I sleep in that? So I figured instead of punching the poor sick man, I'd have fun entertaining myself.

I video taped Ross Snoring, then I put it on the tv (just the sound, no picture) and turned it up really loud - and the TV Ross was battling snores w/ the sleeping Ross - and when it woke him up, I'd mute it and act like I was sleeping, he'd be like "what was that" I said (all morning voice)- "honey, you're snoring pretty loud, maybe it's waking you up?" then 2 seconds later, he started the snore, I'd rewind the tape & play it loud again -

I can fully entertain myself. Now if I can only get brynn to do that.