Letter to the Teacher:

Dear Teacher,

I am trying to appreciate your "real world" approach to my child as far as homework is concerned. Your "argument" being "I accept no late homework" using the excuse that the "real world" doesn't allow for late homework. I have a few concerns regarding your reasoning behind the rule of no late homework.

First, are we living in a matrix? As far as I understand, this *IS* the real world, and therefore, if you allow for late homework, then the real world actually WOULD have an allowance for late homework.

Secondly, assuming that this matrix in which we live where we attend school where teachers are under the illusion that the real world doesn't accept late homework, can you please provide an occupation wherein the employer would send an employee home with "homework" practicing what they did over and over and over during the day to reinforce your work skills. For example, if you had a job at a bank, would you have your "employee" go home & answer the phone "Thank you for calling Bank of the Matrix, this is Heidi, how may I direct your call?" Only to return the next day with a signed affidavit from those who heard you answer the phone saying that you did such.

Finally - wouldn't it then be applicable that in the REAL world, having done your "homework" and return it timely, you would then be rewarded with a paycheck? If we're going to play real world, I think my child should get a paycheck. You can't pay the mortgage on letter grades...because "in the real world" a letter "B" doesn't buy the milk and eggs. How 'bout making it simple...just come up with an occupation wherein homework would be applicable so when my child finishes school, she can determine which "real job" she wants to have.

To make things easy - we live in a real world. You make up the rules for which is acceptable in your little teaching relm of "real world." Do you see how wonderful this is? YOU are actually IN CHARGE of the REAL WORLD! How about keep school work at the school. You send work home? You think you OWN my child? Do I send my child to school with a worksheet with various questions pertaining to the "human" skills in which I'm required as a responsible parent to instill? Do I take her away from your learning time to make her fill out essays from home with questions such as "You wanted a piece of gum from your mother, she said no, you took it anyway. When she confronts you, how do you tell her why you did what you did without lying? What should you have done? Write at least 5 sentences supporting your answer."

Haven't you ever heard the phrase "keep your work at work" we don't want to raise work-a-holics. Focus on the family. We need a separation of family life and school life. Do you realize that "in the real world" people get paid overtime for working past the set number of hours. What incentive do my children have to "work overtime" when an "A" doesn't buy the bread?

Tell you what? I'll teach my child not to steal, cheat and lie, I'll teach her hygiene, I'll teach her respect and responsibility in her home life, I'll teach her religion, I'll even teach her how to cook and be independent. And I won't make her do the dishes while she's at school if you don't make her do math when she's supposed to do the dishes. I won't pick her up from school because she didn't make her bed, if you don't make her write a report on the weather when she should be making her bed. I won't pull her in from recess to practice honesty if you don't keep her from playing with her friends after school to write a book report.

Deal?

Sincerely,
The mom.

THEN we go SCUBA diving

because after a trip to Idaho for 10 days - we came back to start school & home schooling - we started a week behind (because of the Idaho trip) so I was busy trying to keep my head from spinning - and keeping the house afloat - Ross took me on a much needed retreat!

We went to San Diego and dove a few ship wrecks! Hella cool!

Here's a picture of a sail boat in the sunset - which I missed when it was in the reflection of the sun on the ocean (because I couldn't find my camera) but still - wow - just makes you feel refreshed, doesn't it!)

Here's our view from the boat's slip in Mariners Bay (San Diego - across the street from Sea World)

Here's Ross getting ready on our last day.

And Here he is - he finally made it on a dive! (He had a problem w/ equalizing his ears and - only made one dive - the last one!)(I'm the one next to the guy posing like Rocky on the top of the steps....)

Here's both of us exploring on the Ruby E together!

(of course, I came back to a home even further behind than it was after being gone for 10 days, but it was an AWESOME trip)

Where did the month go?

So you get a month worth of blog posts - all in one - mostly stories told by pictures!

First, we had Kali's birthday party (family)! Here's the birthday girl after she's been given the bad news that she must endure the spanking machine before she can open presents!

This is a picture of the spanking machine - that stretched all the way into the kitchen!

Here is a picture of our "k" family - (in sitting order: Kim, Kara, Karli, Coby, Kiersten, Kali, Carrie, Crysty, Kaden, and Rachael...Ammon made her sit there!) we offered dad $100 if he could get everyone's name right without help - needless to say - he tried....no one had to shell any money out.

I don't want to out Crysty - because this isn't such a flattering picture of her, but I must say - I LOVE this picture of Isaac! Clearly his mom doesn't feed him enough! (I think he weighs roughly the same as a baby elephant)

Grandma died the last week of July and we went to Idaho for her funeral. She truly was a wonderful woman, and we will miss her - I'm glad my children got to know her! When she laughed, we ALL laughed! We know she how much pain she must have been in while she fought cancer, but never once let anyone know she was uncomfortable - she knew suffering was inevitable and complaining was an option. She chose not to. Not sure I'll ever meet anyone like her in my life time!


She happened to be buried in the same cemetery as great-grandpa's brother - who Howie is named after...check out THIS "spooky" picture!

Clearly THAT didn't damage him ONE bit!

...And a sunburn to boot!

We had another fun day at the splash park - and - forgot to put sun screen on this beautiful little girl! POOOOR BABY!

Eat yourself Thin...

I'm going to press the cuisinart against my hips start there - thinly shaved & dipped in au jus.

Baby steps.

For the benefit of Bedie...(And Larri)

Bedie told me to share this story from the point of view of the driver...but it makes for a much better story if you know the background...

I had to get x-rays.


I wore my ugly "only wear around the house" bra because it has all plastic clippies and no under wire - so that the x-ray employees wouldn't make me take off my bra...yes, I hate taking off the bra - these ladies need all the support they can have - for as long as they can have it!

Anyway - the stupid people made me take off everything and put some paper shorts & a paper robe on - anyway - so I tucked my bra in my pant leg & went into the x-ray room....

then I came back & my bra was GONE!

Not kidding!

Who would take an ugly bra - what a terrible joke - the sisters were already knocking each other around - and yes, I probably could have tied them in a bow and throwed them over my shoulder....but I didn't - instead I got dressed & went back out to get my x-ray...

picked up my big manila folder w/ the x-ray in it - and flopped the girls outside w/ me - and no - the shirt I was wearing was NOT loose fitting - it was a little snugg-ish.

So I've got my shoulders sort of UP and forward - to hide the fact that the ladies were trying to peek out of the bottom of my shirt.....(yah - you know - that works)

and started crossing the parking lot - I parked literally in the furthest spot possible - because it had a tree for shade - and it was about 300 degrees outside.

So I start my journey across the parking lot - and a car came by - and was sort of waiting for me to pass - but I could tell they were in a rush - so I thought I'd put a spring in my braless step.

And As I did - the bra flung out from my pant leg & landed on a parked car's back windshield PERFECTLY. About 15 feet from where I was "sprinting" across the parking lot.

and I looked over at the car - and they were laughing.

So I ran over & grabbed my overly-ugly granny bra, tucked it under the shirt, under the boobs & ran to the hot shaded car in my 300 degree weather. Yah - it would have been fun to actually see this happen! I would have laughed for days.

Fast Sunday Conversation

"I wanna eat right now! HUMPH!" - one of my wonderful children yelled at me as I told that child that dinner wouldn't be ready for 30 minutes. You would think - at 11:30 when we got home from church - they wouldn't be so hungry, they were ready to tear each other apart.

But they were starving to DEATH.

So one child complains, the other whines, another stands up for blessings that fasting can bring (might I add, that this one stood up for the blessings only to fuel the hunger and anger fire of another)

In my prayerful consideration to make my children happy and keep them happily occupied for 30 or so more minutes - with something OTHER than bickering - I was inspired to tell the story of the child that Larry the Cable Guy adopted - the little pygmies from New Guinea. (Okay - before I'm struck down, I should probably add that I wasn't really inspired, I just told it) I believe his name was Boobla Boobla.

Boobla Boobla was one of those kids you see on TV with flies landing on his eyelashes -while a well dressed and very well fed celebrity pleads to your humanitarian side - by telling you - if you give the children one cup of coffee a day, you can keep the flies away - (because even flies don't like the taste/smell of coffee) - or something like that.

So since coffee is against the word of wisdom, we want these children to have better things - like fly swatters...

But wait - that was only to give the children a visual of these poor skinny pygmies.

See, my sweet children (I am telling them this, but not using quotes, cause it will just get confusing at this point) I know that every time you have ever asked for food, you get it immediately. If Coby was an hungered, I would feed her. And we've been blessed to always have food in the cupboard and fridge.

But how these children we sometimes see on TV commercials for coffee - they don't always get to eat every time they get hungry. Their dad's have to go kill deer with rocks. Sometimes they can use a bow and arrow, but the deers don't have targets on them, so it sometimes makes it harder to hit them - but sometimes the deers run away - and they don't get to eat.

So they go to bed hungry.

See, at this point - my children are quite concerned that not all children in the world get to eat all the time - and feel somewhat a piece of compassion for them. I look at my kids' faces - and see the concern - and at that moment, when the contention has lowered to almost nothing - but my story of Boobla Boobla from New Guinea - I feel a bit of inspiration to remind them of a story from the Book of Mormon.

Lehi - and his family - left their cupboards full of food to go to the wilderness - because Jerusalem was going to be destroyed. So they had to hunt for their food, and bring seeds to plant gardens. (My kids "get" the garden thing - you can't eat right away - as they're waiting for numerous cantaloupe to ripen from our own garden!) so all they have is Nephi's bow and arrow. (I note, at this point that Laman and Lemual didn't have their own bow & arrow because terms of their probation prohibited it at that point in their lives - something about robbing the local mutton store?)

They were pretty hungry after a long day of fighting - and Nephi went out to get some food - and SNAP - broke his bow like Brynn breaks her crayons. Now they have no way of getting food.

And Laman and Lemual were getting QUITE upset with Nephi - because - as you know - when you murmur, it just makes you hungry. And all they do is murmur, since they can't hunt...parole violation and stuff - (at this point the kids are SOOOO enthralled with my story, they're sitting up straight - some kids are on other's laps, wide-eyed and not hungry - cause - this story doesn't have any commercials with Big Mac's in it) so Laman and Lemual (I point to two of my children as I say "Laman & Lemual" - not to accuse them of murmuring, but rather to help them be included in the story) are pretty ticked off at their baby brother, Nephi - so much that they were going to kill him....

At this point - Howie says in a ravaging hungry voice "MMMM mmmmm, Gonna have RIBS tonight!!!"

Ross says "Are you kidding, me, you want the FEMUR, it's got the best meat"

Kiersten chimes in "Give the toes to mom, she likes Coby's toes, I bet she'd like Nephi's"

Kali's no idiot, she says "I'm going for the stomach, that's where the big mac is"

Brynn starts jumping up and down and asking for strawberries, then she hit the top of her head on Kali's chin - Kali bit her tongue and my children were BACK in the present. Wanting dinner.

The cool part of this story is - I just organized the pantry & found stuff that I bought a long time ago & decided I was going to get rid of it for dinner - and made this nasty goulash thing -

The kids LOVED it -I'm totally cleaning out the pantry again next fast Sunday.

She's ready to swim....

Swim cap?

Check...Goggles?....

Check...so what's the problem?

I'm really having a hard time with how cute she is!

Read it & weep - all you coupon cutters! HAW!

I don't buy, and as a result don't clip coupons - I don't pay for someone to tell me what coupons to use when - I just listen when friends flap their mouths about where to shop for the good deals!

Thank you STACY for telling me about THIS find!!!

For $30 - exactly....

I got the following:

12 oz beef sirloin tip filet
20 oz seasoned boneless center cut pork chops
1# ground beef
1# pork medallions
1# seasoned bonless skinless chx breasts
Lemon Dream Cake (costco)
2 loaves (Kirkland signature) multi grain bread
3 yellow bell peppers
10# red potatoes
3 yams
5# large polish sausage (costco)
box of 10 mini bags of movie theater popcorn
box of 3 WW double chocolate muffins (3 points each)
box of fiddle faddle
box of triscuit
bag of 4 chiabata sandwich rolls
2 boxes of carrs gormet table crackers
2 bags of "bimbo" (mexican) powdered donuts
3 - 6oz bags of fat free ruffles potato chips
24oz bottle of ketchup
2 cans of extra large olives
3 cans of evaporated milk
5 - 20oz bottles of propel drink
1-12 ox bottle of welches passion fruit juice
2 boxes (20 cubes) bullion cubes - onion & garlic flavors
package of 10 packets Crystal light drink mix
2.5 oz season grillmates - mesquite flavor
3 "Giant" Reeses Peanut butter cups- candy bar
7oz box "Dr. Kracker" (Organic Artisan baked crackers)
box of girl scout cookies - dosido's
32 oz lysal all purpose cleaner spray
32 oz can whole jalapeno peppers
8.8 oz Brenton gormet crackers
28 oz green enchillada sauce
box of 24 apple jacks cereal straws
nut rageous candy bar
reeses caramel cups (candy bar)
8 oz southwest flavor sandwich spread
case of sierra mist cans
10 oz red enchalada sauce
Hostess 100 calorie snack packs (6, 3-pack muffins)
2 boxes of mac & cheese
15 oz can of apricot halves
can of each:
*Chicken noodle soup
*green beans
*diced tomatoes
*cream of chicken
12 oz peanut butter
46 oz apple juice
2 cans of chunk tuna
18 oz of frosted flakes cereal


Not kidding.

Check me out!

A little slow

Taken before Coby turned 1 - but so cute! I love how Howie interacts with her!
After playing catch with Howie for a while...Coby thought she'd give Howie some "fielding" practice...